POT Fanbook 40point5 Polling Results!
by Midori-Emmi
Summary: Where the translated results are announced and the sadistic authoress is happy. And in which Atobe is tied up and gagged, Niou and Fuji run out of insults, and Marui has to run a thousand laps. Crack. Rated T for language XD
1. Prologue

**Midori-Emmi:** Once upon a time, on a very boring night, as deemed so by none other than the great authoress herself…*dodges the tennis balls thrown with deadly accuracy at her*…all the tennis regulars in the whole of the Prince Of Tennis universe were gathered in a single place.

*Seigaku, Rikkai, Hyotei, Fudoumine, Rokkaku, St Rudolph and Shitenhouji wave back*

**Midori-Emmi:** …Yes, even those teams who were just put into the universe solely for the sake of being there and being seen just once and then forgotten the next moment. Oh, and guys, even if you guys did stay in the manga for more than 2 chapters, you are still the unloved and unwanted calefares.

*Higa, as well as numerous no-name schools that even Takeshi-sensei himself has decided not to name, cry and despair curled up in a corner.*

**Midori-Emmi:** Oi! Don't crowd so much around that area! Damn I'm so gonna make them clean up afterwards…

**All:** Just friggin get on with the damn thing!

**Midori-Emmi:** *Annoyed* But of course, my dearies, just that-

**All:** And who are you calling 'dearies'?

**Midori-Emmi:** *Ticked off* Just let me *BEEP*ing get on with this *BEEP*ing programme or whatever you people wanna call it so that we can all go home and sleep!

**All:** Yeah yeah…

**Midori-Emmi:** So yes, tonight we are all gathered here for the same thing. Just the other day I was walking by this shop, and did you know what I found? I found this awesome boys love series called the 'Takumi-kun Series' and it was so awesome. So I went home to youtube it on the internet an-

**All:** WHO WAS THE ONE WHO SAID TO KEEP THIS SHORT?

**Midori-Emmi:** *Smiles sheepishly* Er…woops. My bad then. Ok boys, tonight, we are gonna sit down like the good little boys you all are and look through the 'PRINCE OF TENNIS 40.5 FANBOOK'!

**All:** EEEEEHHHHH?

**Midori-Emmi:** And we are gonna go through, for the sake of all the wonderful and curious readers who have decided to click on the link to this story, the awesome interviews! Of which all the people ranking from one to ten shall be announced for each question, and have been chosen by the readers using votes!

**All:** Boring…we wanna go home and sleep and just forget that a crazy authoress has just dragged all our butts here for such a stupid reason…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Shows a VERY sadistic smile, and turns to face everyone.*

**Choutarou:** …Shishido-san? Is it just me or is the authoress mad at something?

**Shishido:** *Gulps heavily* A-Ah its just you, Choutarou…its just you…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Glares at the Silver Pair* Well anyways, we shall proceed on with the polling results and anyone who goes against my decision shall have his ...jewels…removed in some way or another…*smiles creepily* Now where did I keep my blunt scissors...

**All:** *Are stoned and unable to move due to shock*

**Midori-Emmi:** Its interview time, people! XDXD

**LET THE AWESOMETASTIC CHARACTER TORTURE BEGIN! MUAHAHAHA...**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey people, its me:) This is my first crackfic and I suck like hell at it but then this muse just didn't wanna leave me alone...so here we are:) So tell me if you want me to continue, yeah?_


	2. 1st Question

**Midori-Emmi:** Hi~ Its nice to see you readers again even though we probably just saw each other approx 5 seconds ago, or just how long you took to click the 'next chapter' button. Oh well, not my issue right now. As I was saying, we were going to start off with the polls.

**Atobe:** Ore-sama no bigi ni yoi na (Be awed by Ore-sama's prowess!)! I bet I will take all the top spots in each and every question they ask!

**Midori-Emmi:** *scowling* How the heck did you get on the stage? *kicks him off manga style*

**Kikumaru:** Eh? Since when was there a stage, nya! And since when did the authoress get so tall, nya!

**Midori-Emmi:** *Headpalms* Just let me start already! But hey, not a bad guess Atobe-san, you did get the top spot for 2 of the…*counting questions*…7 questions they asked.

**Atobe:** See? What did ore-sama tell you? Ore-sam-

**Midori-Emmi:** *Kicks him off the stage again, this time making sure to tie him up and gag him and make Kabaji promise not to untie him* Ahh…peace at last.

**All:** *Sweatdrop*

**Midori-Emmi:** Oh and also, I do not own anything except for this copy of the Taiwanese Chinese version of the 40.5 fanbook that I am holding on to right now. The translations are also done based on the best of my abilities. Ok, that should be it for the disclaimer.

**Atobe:** *Makes funny sounding noises from behind his mask aka tightly tied piece of cloth*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Ignores Atobe, who goes into depression in the same corner as Higa and gang* Right, and the content that I say later shall solely be the book's official comments, so no killing me if anything offends you. Go kill the publisher instead. And I also swear, on all my glorious red hair, that I will not try anything funny today.

**Shishido:** *Raises hand*

**Midori-Emmi:** Yes…Shishido-kun?

**Shishido:** *Scowling* Your hair is a friggin shade of black…not red…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Blinks twice* Oh well, nothing to be said about it.

**All:** *Shivers*

* * *

><p><strong>Q1) Who would you want as your lover?<strong>

**The Glorious TOP 3**

**1****st**** Place: Atobe Keigo (6342 votes) *previous ranking: 1****st**** as well***

**2****nd**** Place: Niou Masaharu (3437 votes) *previous ranking: New***

**3****rd**** Place: Fuji Syuusuke (3361 votes) *previous ranking: Now down by 2 places***

_**Atobe: *The winner will be Atobe, the winner will be Atobe, the winner will be…*…Oh its me again? You ladies still don't quite know your place! Then follow the great ore-sama forever!**_

**Publisher notes:**

**According to the previous polling results, Atobe once again reigns as the most popular for this question! In second place we have a newcomer who has just recently received his spotlight- Niou Masaharu! Has this Trickster also stolen your heart?**

**And who might be the 4****th**** to 10****th**** Places?**

**4****th**** Place: Oshitari Yuushi *previous ranking: Same***

**5****th**** Place: Echizen Ryoma *previous ranking: Same***

**6****th**** Place: Marui Bunta *previous ranking: New***

**7****th**** Place: Tezuka Kunimitsu *previous ranking: Same***

**8****th**** Place: Kirihara Akaya *previous ranking: New***

**9****th**** Place: Shishido Ryou *previous ranking: New***

**10****th**** Place: Kikumaru Eiji *previous ranking: 3****rd**** (?)*(A/N: Pardon, a little hard understanding this part)**

* * *

><p><strong>Midori-Emmi:<strong> …and with that we conclude today's announcement of polling results. Now I'm sure everyone is happy…right?

**Atobe:** *Makes funny protesting noises behind his mask of doom*

**Midori-Emmi:** Nope, Atobe-san, I do not have any intention of untying you just yet. You can have your glory speech later. Now…any comments?

**Niou:** …puri.

**Fuji.S:** *Opens his eyes dangerously* Saa…readers. What would be the reason as to me dropping by 2 ranks from the previous poll…?

*Everyone in close proximity backs away*

**Fuji.S:** …and on top of that to someone who doesn't even have properly coloured hair?

**Niou:** Oi, whats this about me not having properly coloured hair?

**Fuji.S:** *Turns around to face Niou* It is as I said, Niou-kun, your hair is terribly styled and coloured.

**Saeki:** *Goes to cry in a corner with the rest of that cast who also has oddly coloured hair*

**Atobe:** *Is annoyed cause his despairing corner is getting overrun*

**Fuji.S:** *Ignoring the lot* I, by right, should be more popular than you!

**Niou:** I am much better than you, puri!

**Fuji.S:** I appeared earlier than you, so I should be more popular!

**Niou:** I have a much better body that you, so I should be more popular!

**Fuji.S:** The fanfiction universe has so many pairings including me! So I should be hotter!

**Niou:** Che, losing is not allowed here in Rikkai, and who says I have no pairings on this website?

**Fuji.S:** Well what do you know, you're not in Rikkai!

**Niou:** *Snaps his fingers* Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me…Princess…

**Fuji.S:** Bastard.

**Niou:** Princess.

**Fuji.S:** Bastard.

**Niou:** Princess.

**Fuji.S:** Bastard.

**Niou:** Princess.

**Fuji.S:** Bastard.

**Niou:** Princess.

**Fuji.S:** Bastard.

**Niou:** Princess.

**Fuji.S:** Bastard.

**Niou:** Princess.

-insert about a dozen more rounds here cuz the authoress is too lazy to type it anymore-

**Akaya:** *Cannot control it any longer* SHUT UP! If you guys are gonna keep going at it, why don't you just change names already! Its getting boring…

**Niou and Fuji.S:** Oh yeah! We should change names!

**Fuji.S:** Creepy.

**Niou:** Sadistic.

**Fuji.S:** Copycat.

**Niou:** Skinny.

**Fuji.S:** Cocky.

**Niou:** Feminine.

**Fuji.S:** *Twitches*…Grandma.

**Niou:** Grandma?

**Fuji.S:** *shrugs* Ran out of insults.

*Seigaku and Rikkai sighs as they drag their members away from each other to prevent further destruction of innocent minds, and may very well mean the ends of the already not-so innocent ones. With all that swearing…*

**All:** *Watches as Fuji and Niou are dragged away, tied and gagged, then dumped in the same corner as Atobe*

**Akaya:** …so…why is Marui higher ranked than me?

**Marui:** …whatever happened to the '-senpai' you brat? *Pops bubblegum*

**Akaya:** I don't care! There must be a mistake with the publishers! Mura-buchou…they are all bullying me…*cries and runs into Yukimura's arms*

**Yukimura:** *Holding Akaya and patting his head gently*Now now Akaya…I'm sure they did make a mistake…

*Marui opens his mouth to protest, but is silenced with the 'Buchou-Glare'*

**Sanada:** *Whimpers cuz he wasn't in the rankings and is being ignored by Yukimura in favour of Akaya*

**Yukimura:** Aww…Sanada. Lets all have a group hug…

*Everyone in the room stares as Yukimura hugs 2 rather stoned regulars at the same time and sweatdrops*

**Marui:** *Bursts out laughing* Haha! You should have seen your face brat! It was priceless!

**Akaya:** *Pouts*

**Marui:** I so deserve being higher than you! I have my genius and my looks to help me…

**Yukimura:** *Smiles sadistically* Marui, 1000 laps around the room now.

**Marui:** What?

**Yukimura:** *Smiles even wider, and hugs a crying Akaya* Thats for hurting Akaya's feelings. Or would you want double of that?

**Marui:** B-But Buchou! There is a problem! *Points nervously to the 3 'idiots' having been gagged and tied up in the corner.*

**Yukimura:** Then it can't be helped. You'll just have to find some way around them. I don't care if you have to jump over them and nor do I care if you are hunted down by them later for stepping on them, I just want you to finish those laps.

*The entire room looks at Marui with pity, and he is moved to tears.*

**Marui:** *Wiping off tears* Thank you everybody! So that all your concerns are not put to waste, I shall run all the laps right now!

*A dramatic wave-crashing background complete with a sunset miraculously appears behind him, and the others sweatdrop as he starts running the monster laps*

**Yukimura:** *Smiles serenely as Sanada proceeds to move a couple of steps away from him*

**Oshitari, Echizen, Tezuka, Shishido and Kikumaru:** *Sighs*…guess that leaves no time for our comments to be said.

**Kikumaru:** But I even had a speech prepared, nya…*fingers a freakishly huge roll of paper*

**Atobe:** *Once again making weird noises behind his mask of doom*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Has been taking a backseat to everything with a huge bowl of popcorn and an awesomely comfortable computer chair* So…now that everything is over, we can finally finish up and everyone may go to sleep! Yay!

**All:** *Breaths a sigh of relief*Hu…rray…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Finally unties the cloth around Atobe's mouth* Here you go, Atobe-san. I trust that you feel much better now!

**Atobe:** *Twitching just slightly* Of course, you plebeian. Ore-sama's prowess shall not be diminished by a mere rag. No, ore-sama shall continue with his glorious speech that the authoress has so generously promised me earlier after the announcement of the polls. Now everyone knows that or-

**Note: Everyone has left the room and are packing up outside.**

**Jirou:** *Puts ear to the door* Neh, Ga-kun. When do you think Atobe is gonna realise that there is no one listening to him inside?

**Gakuto:** *Puts his ear to the door as well* Hm…hopefully not until the end of the week. That way we can skip practice!

**Jirou:** Oh yeah! Why didn't I think of that? You are a genius, Gakuto!

*Just steps away from the two, Oshitari Yuushi is just plain frozen.*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Yawns* It has been a long day everybody! Remember to be back here by the next poll question!

**All:** *Groans as they make their way out*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Turns to readers* Yosh! Hope you all had a good time with us today, and that you will continue reading! Its getting late, so just a request for maybe a review? Aw come on! That cute little button at the bottom of the page is just beckoning to you, admit it!

**Atobe:** …and of course there is also my teddy bear KeiKei that I wanna thank…wait. Where did everybody go? Hello?

**Midori-Emmi:** *Face-palms, checks stopwatch* Wow…25 minutes. A record, I must say.

**Atobe**: *Sobs* No one is listening to me…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Sweatdrops* Ok, think I gotta go comfort an ego-crushed guy right now…so…byes and have a good night people:) Hope to see you again.

~OWARI~

**Please Review! Reviews are the air we authors breathe, the food we authors eat, the water we authors drink! Don't let us die just like that!**

**Thank you very much for reading, will update soon.**


	3. 2nd Question

*Door opens. Rikkai, Seigaku and Hyoutei walk in*

**Kikumaru:** Are? Why is it so empty here? Where did the authoress go, nya!

**Mukahi:** Che, probably somewhere plotting the downfall of Atobe or some other guy *sniggers*

**Atobe:** Ahn? You said something, Mukahi? Something about my downfall? 100 laps for next practice.

**Mukahi:** *Sweatdrops*

**Kikumaru:** Haha! Serves you right!

**Kikumaru and Mukahi:** *Glare at each other while their respective partners just stand to the side*

**Niou:** Hm. Its like the redhead said. No authoress here today, puri.

**Yagyuu:** It is possible that the authoress has caught a bug and is just resting in bed, or perhaps something else, like being too tired from school. Oh and Niou-kun, I would like my golf clubs back please.

**Niou:** Gave them to my brother. He thinks they are wonderful bats! :)

**Yagyuu**: *Glasses flash* About that time our music teacher found a caterpillar in her coffee…

**Niou:** *Sweatdrops* I don't have the clubs, Yagyuu.

**Yagyuu:** *Glasses flash even brighter* And about that time pictures of Yukimura-kun and Sanada-kun making out in the clubroom were circulated around the campus…

**Niou:** *Sweatdrops even more and gulps*

**Yagyuu:** Oh yes, and there wa-

**Niou:** *Slaps a hand on Yagyuu's mouth and takes the golf clubs out of nowhere* Ok, ok! Here are your clubs back! Don't say anymo-

**Sanada:** Tarundoru! It was you, Niou? 1500 laps next practice!

**Akaya:** Haha…Yagyuu-senpai got you good, Niou-senpai.

**Sanada:** …Please keep quiet Akaya, or you will be joining him.

**Yukimura:** Maa maa Genichirou… Isn't your punishment a little-

**Niou:** *Sparkly eyes* Yukimura-buchou…

*A dramatic sunset background appears out of nowhere and emo music plays*

**Sanada:** I-I'm sorry Seiichi…I might have overdone it a little…

*Music is still happily playing…*

**Yukimura: **G-G-Genichirou…

*Still playing*

**Yukimura:** …I was actually going to suggest…that we give Niou 3000 laps!

*Music dies away comically, and the sunset background fades away*

**Sanada:** …Ah…

**Niou:** *Is horrified* Yukimura-buchou! How could you?

**Yukimura:** *Smiles serenely and looks to a distance, frowning a bit* Oh I'm so sorry Niou...sometime last week I managed to get my hands on some ADORABLE pictures of you wearing a pink tutu! I wanted to keep all that cuteness to myself, but since you insist…

**Niou:** *Drags Yagyuu along and goes to run his laps*

**Yukimura:** My…isn't Niou such a GOOD boy today…

**Rest of Rikkai:** *Shrinks away and slowly distance themselves from their captain*

**Choutarou:** Eh? Shishido-san! I found the polling results for today!

**Shishido:** Really? Where?

**Choutarou:** *Points to wall, where a laminated blown-up copy is pasted*

**Atobe:** Hm…apparently ore-sama is not in this one…am I, Kabaji?

**Kabaji:** Usu.

**Shishido:** *Blushes at their 'closer-than-usual' proximity*Choutarou…do you know how tasty your lips look?

**Choutarou:** *Blushes* Sh-Sh-Shishido-san! I…I…

**Shishido:** I…can't control it any longer…Choutarou…*leans in closer*

**Choutarou:** *Leaning in closer too* H-Hai…Shishi-

*Kintarou suddenly stands in between them and waves his arms*

**Kintarou:** HOOOORRRRAAAAA! Lets just get down to doing what we are supposed to be doing today!

**Oishi:** *Looks around and finds the entire Shitenhouji team present* Are? When did they come in?

**Ryoma:** *Attempts to sneak out to avoid a certain super ADHD and super 'dong-dong'(crazy/stupid) rookie*

**Kintarou:** Ah, Koshimae! Lets have a match!

**Ryoma:** *Freezes mid-step* Aw dang…and I wanted that new peach Ponta too…

**Momo:** Oi Echizen! How could you beat a senpai like me in the new rankings? You can't do that, can't do that yo!

**Ryoma: **Who beat who in what rankings?

**Momo:** The ones on the wall! Its pasted there!

**Kaidou:** Che, the peach-butt isn't even on the rankings this time.

**Momo:** NANIIIIIIII? *Does a double-take* Nooo! Its true!

**Ryoma:** …Maybe I should go check out these rankings…oh and Kaidou-senpai?

**Kaidou:** Hn?

**Ryoma:** *Whispers* I think you overdid it this time…*points behind him before walking away*

**Momo:** *Curled up in a corner planting bracket fungus with a thundercloud and 3 depression tornados over his head*

**Kaidou:** …

* * *

><p><strong>Q1) Who would you want as your little brother?<strong>

**The Glorious TOP 3**

**1st Place: Echizen Ryoma (7487 votes) *previous ranking: 1st as well***

**2nd Place: Kirihara Akaya (5905 votes) *previous ranking: New***

**3rd Place: Tooyama Kintarou (3589 votes) *previous ranking: New***

_**Ryoma: Wow…to want me as a little brother isn't a bad choice at all…But if I want someone to acknowledge me as the older brother, that shouldn't be a bad idea either, right?**_

**Publisher notes:**

**And Ryoma takes a 3****rd****, sweeping, consecutive victory! Coming in 2****nd**** and 3****rd**** are debutants Akaya and Kintarou respectively. All those nominated for this particular poll seem to have a playful, carefree, and full-of-life characters!**

**And who might be the 4th to 10th Places?**

**4th Place: Ootori Choutarou *previous ranking: Now down by 3 places***

**5th Place: Dan Taichi*previous ranking: Now down by 2 places***

**6th Place: Fuji Yuuta *previous ranking: Now down by 5 places***

**7th Place: Akutagawa Jirou *previous ranking: Now down by 6 places***

**8th Place: Marui Bunta *previous ranking: New***

**9th Place: Kikumaru Eiji *previous ranking: Now down by 4 places***

**10th Place: Mukahi Gakuto*previous ranking: Now down by 7 places***

* * *

><p><strong>Kintarou:<strong> …3…3…3 consecutive victories? Neh, Koshimae! You sure are popular!

**Shiraishi:** *Whistles in amazement* Wow, for this round, everyone has dropped from previous rankings except for the newbies.

**Atobe:** Ore-sama is disappointed that no one voted for him this round.

**Mukahi:** *Watches as Atobe enters some kind of weird, ego-boosting monologue which no one is even bothering to listen to*

**Shishido: **Oi Atobe, take a CLOSER look at the topic for this round's voting.

**Oshitari:** I can't seem to imagine or visualise THE Atobe Keigo actually getting a ranking anywhere near the top for this…

**Atobe:** *Does a double-take and gasps, before fainting gracefully onto the floor*

**Mukahi:** And of course…Kabaji catches him before he falls onto the floor…

**Kawamura:** Say…doesn't this scene look just a tad familiar?

**Kikumaru:** *Thinks for a while, then snaps his fingers* Oh now I remember! It was the time Fujiko fainted from drinking th-mmmm! Mmmmppf!

**Kaidou:** T-Tezuka-buchou?

**Tezuka:** *Hand still clamped over Eiji's mouth, subtly turns his head to a certain direction*

**Entire Seigaku team:** *Sweatdrop massively* A-A-Ah…right…

**Fuji:** *With awesome devil horns and an apocalyptic hell background* My, Eiji…you said something about me after drinking…?

**Eiji:** *Sweating massively and shaking his head profusely, hands too* Mmm-mm, mmh hmm mmm mmmpf! Mmmmpf!

**Oishi:** …Uh…I think he's trying to say he said nothing like that, Fuji.

**Midori-Emmi:** *Walks into the room* Hi all! I'm sorry for being late! Had some stuff to do at home.

**Shishido:** …What stuff exactly?

**Midori-Emmi:** *Smiles a smile scarily similar to Yukimura's* Oh nothing much. Just plotting some nice, horrible, homicidal character torture for you guys. No biggie.

**Shishido:** *Shrinks away to stand beside Choutarou*

**Akaya:** AHA! Told you the authoress was planning something horrible! Now hand it over!

**Hiyoshi:** *Grumbles inaudibly as he hands over the money* I will gekokujou you one day…

**Midori-Emmi: **Right! So what have I missed so far?

**All:** Nothing too much…

**Renji:** There is a 5 percent chance that the authoress will let it rest, a 10 percent chance that she will give us time for speeches, and an 85 percent chance that she will repeat her question.

**Midori-Emmi**: I said…what have I missed so far?

**Renji:** *Smiles*

**Akaya:** *Smirks* Ha! How's that, Marui-senpai! I got a higher rank than you!

**Marui:** *Twitching* Yeah, so what? You still can't beat a certain rookie, can ya? Ouch…my body is still hurting from those thousand laps…

**Akaya:** *Sudden realization* Nooo! I still can't beat Echizen! Yukimura-buchou!

*Runs in slow motion with a shoujo bubbly and fluffy background, complete with sparkling tears towards Yukimura*

**Yukimura:** Aw Akaya…what is it this time…

**Akaya:** Buchou…Marui-senpai bullied me again!

**Marui:** *Chokes on his gum* What? What did I do?

**Yukimura:** *Pats Akaya's head soothingly* Something worthy of a punishment.

**Marui:** *Turns to Jackal for help*

**Jackal:** *Turns to Renji for help*

**Renji:** *Turns to Yagyuu*

**Yagyuu:** *Turns to Niou*

**Niou:** *Turns to Sanada* (A/N: Say…isn't he supposed to be running?)

**Sanada:** Tarundoru! Why is everyone looking at me!

**Yukimura:** Marui…are you trying to flirt with Genichirou? *Aura turns darker and more murderous by the second*

**Marui: ***Sweatdrops massively and cowers…whimpering pitifully…*

**Choutarou:** A-Ah? I got the 4th place? T-That's a surprise…I never thought anyone will like me enough to want me as their younger brother. Thanks everyone! Thanks readers! I'll be a good younger brother!

**Random readers and Midori-Emmi:** Aww…so adorable…

**Kikumaru:** Aha! I'm higher ranked than you, Mukahi! *Sticks out his tongue and pulls on his lower eyelid*

**Oishi:** Now now Eiji…it isn't nice to-

**Mukahi:** Hmpf! It must have been the publisher's mistake, right Yuushi?

**Oshitari:** *Wipes his glasses* Leave me out of this…

**Mukahi: **Yeah whatever…*turns to Eiji*…cat.

**Kikumaru:** Rabbit.

**Mukahi:** Cat.

**Kikumaru:** Rabbit.

**Mukahi:** Cat.

**Kikumaru:** Rabbit.

**Mukahi**: Cat.

**Kikumaru:** Rabbit.

**Mukahi:** Cat.

**Kikumaru: **Rabbit.

**Mukahi:** Cat.

**Kikumaru:** Rabbit.

**Mukahi:** Cat.

-Insert a dozen rounds more here as alas! The authoress has once again commited the sin of sloth…*authoress sobs dramatically*-

**Choutarou**: Hm…I seem to have seen or heard of this argument somewhere before…

**Shishido:** Doesn't sound at all familiar to me.

**Jirou:** *Wakes up suddenly from Kabaji's shoulder and miraculously teleports to Marui's* MAAAAAARUUUUUUUUIIIIIIII-KUUUUUUUUUUUN!

**Marui:** Damn, and here I thought I could have a break…

**Kikumaru:** Rabbit.

**Mukahi:** Cat!

**Kikumaru:** Rabbit!

**Mukahi:** Cat!

Jirou: *Imaginary light bulb lights up on his head* Oh I know!

**All: ***Turns to look at Jirou*

**Jirou:** Its from MagicDetective-san's fic, Chatrooms!

**All:** Ah…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Claps* Yippee! You got it correct! MagicDetective-san is one of the best humor writers of all time in the POT fandom. This is just a pitiful attempt on my part…*sobs*. It is nothing compared to her crack fics…

**All: **At least she doesn't torture us like you do…right?

**Midori-Emmi: ***Emits sadistic aura* Now what was that you said about me?

**Choutarou:** *Can't stand the atmosphere* Uhm…you're pretty?

**All:** *Face-faults onto the ground*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Twitches as her aura grows even bigger*

**All: ***Take refuge behind Kabaji…which isn't exactly effective…*

**Midori-Emmi:** You lot! Get your ungrateful butts off the stage! *Kicks the entire cast off the stage at one go*

**Kikumaru:** *Gasps* The stage! It appeared from nowhere! Where did the stage come from, nya? And how could we have been standing on the stage without knowing it nya!

**Midori-Emmi:** *Smirks* That's for me to know and you people to find out.

**Jirou:** *Just took note of the rankings* SUGOI! Marui-kun and I are only 1 rank apart! This means that I was destined to be your fan!

**Marui:** *Choking, spluttering and turning every shade of purple possible in the colour wheel* Can't…breathe…Aku…ta…ga…wa…san…

**Jirou:** *Gasps* Nooo! Marui-kun is dead! Nooo! *Drops fainted!Marui in shock*

All: *Watches as Jirou runs around in circles clutching his head and shouting…before slumping onto the floor suddenly and snoring*…Should have known.

**Oshitari:** Hm…doesn't it seem a little too quiet around here?

**Oshitari: **Doesn't seem so, cuz. Too noisy.

**Oshitari: **Hope you are not slacking off on your practice.

**Oshitari: **I'll definitely beat you this time…

**Oshitari:** I'll be waiting…

**Kintarou:** Heh? Its so confusing!

**Oshitari:** Whats so confusing, Kin-chan?

**Kintarou:** Why the heck are there 2 Oshitaris and who the heck is who?

**Oshitari and Oshitari:** *Turns to look at their right side* Oh…

**Oshitari:** In that case, I shall change mine to my given name…

**Oshitari:** No, I shall.

**Oshitari:** No, I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Oshitari:** I shall.

**Kintarou:** WILL YOU PEOPLE JUST DECIDE ALREADY AND JUST CHANGE THAT NAME BEFORE I AM FORCED TO USE ANY FORM OF COLOURFUL LANGUAGE THAT WILL MAKE SHIRAISHI CRY! *Spouts a random string of profanities anyway*

**Shiraishi:** *Starts to sob on Zaizen's shoulder*

**Oshitari:** …Wow 0.o

**Zaizen:** *Awkward cuz his captain is on his shoulder* Kin-chan sure has the guts.

**Kenya:** Aha! Beat you to it! *Dances around* The Naniwa Speed Star reigns!

**Oshitari:** Damn it…

**Taki:** Oh yeah, come to think of it, where is Atobe-buchou?

**All: ***Stares at him*

**Ryoma:** I believe Monkey King is having his beauty sleep somewhere…

**Taki:** *Sweatdrops at the staring* Uh…is there an issue?

**All with the exception of Hyoutei members: **Who the heck are you?

**Taki:** *Sobs shoujo style and runs out of the door* No one knows me!

**Ryoma:** …Weird.

**Akaya:** …Weird.

**Dan:** *Gasps* Echizen-san and Kirihara-san actually agreed, desu!

**Ryoma:** …What are you doing here?

**Dan:** Da-da-da-da-Dan! I'm not too sure, desu! We were just doing some stuff when we suddenly found ourselves outside the door, desu!

**Akaya:** Wait…we?

*Entire of Yamabuki walks in*

**Jin:** Damn everything, why are we here? Tell me or I swear hell will seem like a piece of ca- *Slumps down onto the floor unconscious*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Holding a tranquilizer gun in a heroic pose, blowing off the imaginary smoke from the tip*

**All:** …

**Midori-Emmi:** What? He was getting annoying. And also, I only wanted Dan-kun to come today, not the whole team.

**All:** Ah…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Looks around*…Speaking of which there is supposed to be one mo-

**Mizuki:** Nfu fu fu…what a surprise this is…

*Entire of St Rudolf walks in*

**Yanagisawa:** Eh? It's a gathering of all the schools, dane!

**Yuuta:** *Sweatdrops* Wait, doesn't that mean…aniki…

**Fuji.S:** *Pounces on Yuuta* YUUUUUUUUUTTAAAAAAAAA!

**Yuuta:** *Desperately flailing about in Fuji's grip and looks to his teammates for help*

**Atsushi: ***Shows a sad, pitiful and sympathetic look…and turns away*

**Mizuki:** Maa…Fuji-kun. I believe it would not be too wise to strangle your little brother at a time like this, would it?

**Fuji.S:** Neh, everyone. Did anyone hear a purple ghost speak?

**All:** *Sweatdrop*

**Tezuka:** Fuji…please be polite…

**Mizuki:** Your captain is right, Fuji-kun. And last I saw, the rankings include Yuuta-kun as coming in 6th place.

**Fuji.S:** *Snaps his eyes open as he glares* Saa…Mikuri-san. Are you actually implying that you had a hand in the rankings? *Holds Yuuta tighter*

**Yuuta:** *Is very happy that he is in the top 10 rankings but cannot show it due to extreme lack of oxygen supply currently*

**Fuji:** *Oblivious to Yuuta's predicament* Yuuta is MINE and MY little brother alone.

**Mizuki:** Fuji-kun, I believe I have told you before that my name is MIZUKI and not otherwise…

**Fuji:** *Turns to readers* Don't any of you DARE take Yuuta away from me…

**Yuuta:** *Shedding manly tears as he uses up the last of his oxygen supply and salutes…before fainting*

**Fuji:** YUUUUTTAAAAAA!

**Midori-Emmi:** …I think that's quite enough drama for 10 pages isn't it?

**Renji:** 10 pages?

**Midori-Emmi:** Yup:) The entire length of this freakishly long chapter which even I myself didn't know how I manage to come up with.

**Random readers:** Aww…it's the end already?

**Midori-Emmi:** *Sobs dramatically* I am so sorry I have to end it here, good readers! My muse has escaped to the US without my permission…again…

**Mukahi:** *Bends over Atobe and pokes his cheek* Say…are we supposed to wake him up?

**Hiyoshi: **I shall gekokujou Mukahi-senpai! *Takes out a HUGE steel mallet from his tennis bag*

**Choutarou:** *Stuttering due to incomplete recovery from shock* W-W-Wakashi-kun! I don't think its that nice to wake Atobe-buchou up this way!

**Hiyoshi: ***Raises his mallet anyway*

**Oshitari:** *Takes the mallet from Hiyoshi* Naa…Hiyoshi-kun. We can't possibly let you do this to our captain, right…

**Hiyoshi:** *Pouts and sits in a corner*

**Oshitari:** *Shifts his glasses so they reflect the light evilly*…because I have to be the one to do it…*Raises mallet in Hiyoshi's previous spot*

**Choutarou: ***Stricken with worry* Waaaaaa! Oshitari-senpaaaaaaaaaiii!

**Oishi:** *Cries because his 'mother-hen-mode' has been plagiarised. Its his copyright, dammit!*

**Midori-Emmi:** Well…things seemed to have extended a little further than I had planned…with a now brilliant 11 pages worth of the chapter…

**Renji and Inui:** R-Rikutsu janai! *Goes into depression at the same spot as Momo and plants fungus balls to join Momo's collection*

**Midori-Emmi:** Ok, you people! Its been a long day and everyone is tired. You may go now, and please remember to come back for the next polling result!

**All:** *Groans as they make their way out the door*

**Dan: **No one gave me any attention, desu…I'm not helpful at all, desu…*is sad*

**Midori-Emmi:** Aww…Dan-chan! You can help me do something!

**Dan: ***Brightens up with a sun and flowers in the background* Really? What is it?

**Midori-Emmi:** The disclaimer:)

**Dan:** Authoress-san does not own anything in this fic except for everything other than the results, desu! She also says that anything offensive is the publisher's fault, desu! And she also says that she is merely borrowing a little portion of MagicDetective-san's fic and it would be helpful if her fellow authoress' fans do not try to kill her…desu. Would that be all?

**Midori-Emmi:** *Smiles and pats Dan's head* Yes, thank you very much. Please spare a little review! 2 'IQ-level-losing' nights were put into this! Be grateful!

~OWARI~

**Please Review! Reviews are the air we authors breathe, the food we authors eat, the water we authors drink! Don't let us die just like that!**

**Thank you very much for reading, will update soon.**


	4. 3rd Question

**Yosh, Midori desu:) Added more humour here, so please enjoy! XDXD**

* * *

><p><strong>Renji:<strong> Today marks the 3rd day we have been kidnapped into this interrogation room.

**Midori-Emmi:** That's not true! We only gather at night and so help me this is no interrogation room!

**Ryoma:** The authoress is evil, that much is true.

**Midori-Emmi:** Aw shucks, Ryoma-kun! Thanks for your generous compliment! :D

**All:** …

**Midori-Emmi:** Anyways…reader traffic from FFnet has told me that my crack is still way crappy compared to some of the more awesome authoresses out there…*coughMagicDetectivecough*! And as such, I shall try to pump up the humour a little more.

**Renji:** How?

**Inui:** 1 percent chance that the authoress has an ingenius plan and a 99 percent chance that we are to carry out that plan.

**Midori-Emmi:** *Sobs dramatically* I can't believe you guys think so lowly of me…*sits in the depression corner planting ferns*

**Kawamura**: Ano…why is the authoress planting ferns?

**Dan:** *Listens to authoress muttering* Authoress-san says that she has no choice but to plant ferns because Momoshiro-san planted bracket fungus, and Inui-san and Yanagi-san planted fungus balls in the previous chapter, desu!

**Akaya:** But why not mushrooms? Last I remembered, they are fungi too.

**Marui:** *Gasps* Akaya actually studies his biology!

**Yukimura:** *Turns to look at a tearing Akaya, then turns to smile at Marui*

**Marui:** *Gulps * I know, I know, a thousand laps…*runs off into some random sunset*

**Dan:** *Nods as he listens in on the authoress' muttering again* Authoress-san says she can't plant mushrooms, desu. She says because that would plagiarise Ouran High School Host Club's Tamaki-san, desu! And the ferns are the only other family that breeds using spores, desu!

**All:** Ah…

**Renji:** *Continuing from some random, off-screen conversation*…No, Sadaharu. I am 87 percent positive that the authoress has a twisted sense of humour.

**Inui:** I beg to differ, Renji. My data tells me that the authoress has a sadistic sense of humour.

**Renji:** My data states that both words mean practically the same thing in this context.

**Inui:** Well my data shows that both words DO NOT mean the same thing. And while both words contain the letters 't', 'i' and 's'-

**Renji: **Ahem but apparently my data is telling me that I am correct and you are just being stubborn and childish.

**Inui: **On the other hand, my data tells me that you are refusing to admit you are wrong because you hate bright green.

**Midori-Emmi:** *Sobs even harder in her corner because both her username and her school (colour) has just been insulted*

**Renji:** *Ignores the authoress* My data tells me that you refuse to give in because your glasses are too thick.

**Inui:** My data tells me that you don't want to admit you're wrong because you are too tall.

**Renji:** Speak for yourself, Sadaharu! My data tells me that you don't want to admit you're wrong because you always speak in a monotone voice.

**Inui:** My data tells me that you are a creepy data freak.

**Renji:** *Smiles* Why thank you. My data tells me that you are a pinhead.

**Inui: **My data tells me that you hate seaweed.

**Akaya:** *Gasps* What is that supposed to mean, Yanagi-senpai?

**Renji:** …my data tells me that you are a bastard.

**Inui:** My data tells me that you are a fan of Barbie movies.

**All:** *Snigger*

**Renji:** *Sniffs* But Princess Anneliese and Julian belong together…*fanboys and emos at the same time*

**Akaya:** *Sweatdrops* How is senpai doing that…

**Inui:** …ahem. And my data also tells me that you are a brown-eyed monkey.

**Renji:** *Done fanboying* My data tells me that you are a green-eyed mad scientist.

**Inui:** My data tells me that you are last on the 'Favourite Tennis Regular Rankings' in your school.

**Renji:** *Twitches* My data tells me that you are a pink-nosed sea urchin.

**All:** …

**Dan:** Ano…do sea urchins even have noses, desu?

**All:** …

**Inui:** AHA! You said something illogical! You lose! *Does a glorious victory pose with his notebook*

**Renji: **Rikutsu janai (Its illogical)!*Is slapped by Inui for plagiarising his trademark phrase before joining the authoress in planting ferns at the corner*

**Lianna-Snow:** Hi everybody!

**All:** Who the heck are you?

**Lianna-Snow:** I'm Midori's friend at school! Call me Lianna :D I'm also here to announce the results in place of the authoress today because she is too sad to.

**All:** *Turns to stare at the two people in the despairing corner before turning back again* So we see.

**Lianna-Snow:** On to the results people!

* * *

><p><strong>Q1) Who would you want as your older brother?<strong>

**The Glorious TOP 3**

**1st Place: Shishido Ryou (6139 votes) *previous ranking: Now up by 9 places***

**2nd Place: Fuji Syuusuke (4941 votes) *previous ranking: Now down by 1 place***

**3rd Place: Niou Masaharu (3147 votes) *previous ranking: New***

_**Shishido: I personally don't think I will make a good older brother. I never know what mine is thinking…geki dasa daze(this is so lame)!**_

**Publisher notes:**

**As expected, the top 10 are all basically people who are good at taking care of others. Competition with the newcomers for the top slots are pretty intense this round!**

**And who might be the 4th to 10th Places?**

**4th Place: Tachibana Kippei *previous ranking: Now up by 6 places***

**5th Place: Atobe Keigo *previous ranking: Now up by 7 places***

**6th Place: Saeki Koujirou *previous ranking: Now down by 5 places***

**7th Place: Oshitari Yuushi *previous ranking: New***

**8th Place: Yukimura Seiichi *previous ranking: New***

**9th Place: Shiraishi Kuranosuke *previous ranking: New***

**10th Place: Kurobane Harukaze *previous ranking: New***

* * *

><p><strong>Choutarou:<strong> *Frowns* Shishido-san…how could you say that the result was lame? I think you make a good older brother!

**Shishido:** *Blushes* Thanks…Choutarou.

**Mukahi:** This must have been a mistake with the polling system!

**Shishido:** Oi what do you mean by that?

**Choutarou: ***Gulps* Eto…senpai-tachi…please refrain from fighting…

**Mukahi and Shishido:** *Calm down and stop fighting because Choutarou's aura is too calming and pure*

**Fuji:** And the Tensai (Genius) triumphs over the Trickster *smiles*

**Niou:** …puri.

**Fuji:** So, Niou-kun. About the bet we made…I want those by next week.

**Niou:** …puri.

**Fuji:** And don't you dare go back on that promise. You know the consequences *smiles even wider*

**Niou:** …p-puri.

**Yukimura:** Are you ok, Niou? 'Puri' is the only word you have been saying for your past 3 replies *smiles a 'you-better-tell-me-what-you-lost-in-that-bet-or-you-are-running-laps-until-you-die' smile*

**Niou:** …I promised him I would give him blackmail on the team, piyo.

**Entire of Rikkai:** *Chases Niou into the same random sunset that Marui ran towards*

**Kamio:** Hey guys, check it out! Tachibana-san is ranked 4th!

**Ishida:** Wow, its true!

**Shinji:** I can't believe Tachibana-san got a place in the rankings and its not because I don't like him as our captain it really isn't I am just surprised because none of us Fudoumine regulars have got such a high rank or even a ranking for that matter and Tachibana-san actually broke the record of us being a background team because he is so awesome and we all respect him plus he promised a match with me thi-

**Ishida:** *Ties Shinji up and gags him because majority voted for it and throws him to the despairing corner* Sorry about it!

**Shinji:** *Continues to mumble incoherently because he is gagged*

**Tachibana:** *Sweatdrops at his team's chaos* Well…thanks readers! Although I kind of think I was voted for because I have Ann to take care of as my little sister…

**Atobe:** *Shoos Tachibana and the rest of Fudoumine into a corner* It is time for ore-sama to bless you lot with his presence because he was asleep for the majority of the last chapter.

**Shishido: **Che, talk about speaking in 3rd person…and weren't you out cold because you fainted at the results last time?

**Atobe:** *Twitches* Ore-sama does not use the terms 'fainted' and 'out cold'!

**Mukahi:** Yeah yeah…

**Atobe**: And so…I shall reward everyone by giving a speech on why I should have been in 1st place and not 5th place *clears throat* I believe I should have been first becau-

**Eiji:** HOLD IT! *Runs to stand in between Atobe and the rest of the cast with his arms outstretched, blowing a whistle that he borrowed from Oishi* I think we should have a majority voting on whether or not Atobe gets to say his speech!

**Tezuka and Sanada:** *Says at the same time* I agree.

**Jirou:** *Stares at the two and gasps, still pointing at them* OMG! Those 2 can actually talk! ...*falls asleep*

**All:** …we agree too.

**Atobe:** *Gasps in horror at the decision*

**Eiji:** In that case…everyone! Hands up if you don't want Atobe to say his speech! *Sweatdrops at the insane number of hands that are being raised*

**Lianna-Snow:** *Shakes her head* Here, Kikumaru-kun, let me help. All those who WANT Atobe-san over there to say his speech please raise your hands!

**All:** *Keeps quiet as they look around the room to see who dares to betray them*

**Lianna-Snow: ***Turns to smile at Eiji* See, Kikumaru-kun? That settles your issue.

**Eiji:** *Gulps*Eto…there are no hands…*continues looking around the room*

**Atobe:** *Sobs shojo-style* I can't believe you people don't appreciate ore-sama's prowess!

**Midori-Emmi:** *Suddenly appears behind him*Well, since majority wins, you can't say your speech. Allow me to assist with that.

**All:** *Watches as the authoress ties Atobe up and gags him, before throwing him off the stage into the despairing corner*

**Kikumaru:** *Gasps* How did the stage come about, nya! Why didn't we find out we were on a stage earlier, nya! Ho-

**Entire of Seigaku:** Shut up! We know!

**Eiji:** *Goes to emo at the despairing corner because his teammates shouted at him. Yes, even Oishi*

**Hiyoshi: **Atobe-buchou being tied up and gagged then thrown to the corner kind of happened before…

**Lianna-Snow:** *Ignores Hiyoshi cuz he is a minor character*Midori! You have finally returned from the abyss of despair!

**Midori-Emmi:** Actually, I was emoing for more reasons than just now…*glares at Renji*…and yes, you could say I'm feeling better now:) Oh and I have just built a nice, dark house to keep all those fungi that have been grown in the past chapter. While you people were not looking.

**Momoshiro, Inui and Renji:** *Are crying tears of joy*

**Kentarou:** *Rallies up the Rokkaku regulars*Everyone, look! Kurobane-senpai is on the rankings!

**Entire of Rokkaku:** *Crying TT_TT tears with a random dramatic sunset background* Thank you, Bane…for helping us revive Rokkaku's glory! We are indebted to you! *Bows at Bane's feet*

**Oshitari:** Since when DID Rokkaku ever have any glory to begin with?

**Entire of Rokkaku: **Oh yeah! *Depressed as the sunset background rips comically*

**Kurobane:** *Sweatdrops with his mouth open*

**Amane:** Bane is a dane…pfft!

(A/N: Bane rhymes with 'dane (Yanagisawa's onomatopoeia)', and the duck relation being his mouth open! XD Get it?)

**Kurobane:** *Kicks David in the head*

**Yanagisawa:** *Is unhappy that his trademark onomatopoeia is being used so lamely*

**Saeki:** *Depressed in a corner as he was berated for his hair colour in the chapter before last, not mentioned at all in the last chapter, and is ignored this chapter by all his teammates even though he got 6th place, which is 4 ranks better than Kurobane*No one cares about me…

**Aoi:** I'm so sorry Saeki-senpai! I didn't see your ranking! I thought it was some other hotshot player whose romanji name also started with an 'S'!

**Saeki**: *Goes into deeper depression as Kentarou just implied that he was not a hotshot player. He's a tennis regular on Rokkaku, dammit!*

**Random player:** Ah! Rikkai is back!

**Yukimura:** Hi all *smiles*

**Midori-Emmi: **Ano…why are you all covered in sand? Its dropping all over the floor…

**Entire of Rikkai:** *Looks down at their clothes* Oh…that…

**Jackal:** *Clears his throat to get attention* Well, at first buchou only called us over to help keep an eye on Marui who was running his 1000 laps, and then Niou was assigned 1000 laps later because he drew on Sanada-fukubuchou's rock…and we were bored…

**Midori-Emmi:** Uh…and how does that explain the sand 0.o?

**Jackal**: No, I'm not finished yet. Because at that time, Niou still had 950 laps and Marui still had 900 laps…so we were bored…and…

**Midori-Emmi:** You said that once alread- *is shushed by the crowd*

**All:** We want to hear the 'Mystery of the Sand-Covered Clothes'! *Sits around Jackal cross-legged and looks up at him with puppy eyes*

**Jackal:** *Is flattered*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Not happy because she was shushed and she wasn't even interrupting*

**Lianna-Snow:** *Reads Midori's action line* Actually, Midori…you were interrupting.

**Midori-Emmi:** *Pouts*

**Jackal:** *Coughs to get attention again* And so we were all bored watching the lot of them running. Then we realised that there was actually a random beach to compliment the random sunset over there! Coincidently, Akaya also had some buckets and spades with him…and…so…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Has the -.-"" look*…you guys started playing with the sand? Oh and why did Akaya have those things with him?

**Akaya:** Well…they were just there…*blushes as he suddenly remembers something*…don't ask.

**Jackal: **Yep. So we had a sandcastle making competition, and ended up like this. End of story *smiles*

**All:** *Gives a standing ovation*

**Jackal:** *Is so happy that he is finally being listened to. So happy, everyone suddenly got the imagery that he was wearing a formal suit in all his bald glory, grinning happily and receiving an Academy Award (I no own:D) trophy which had a life-sized golden tennis ball attached to the trophy's head…and it was also covered in sand…*

**Sanada:** *Goes around slapping everyone to free them of the disturbing imagery* Tarundoru…

**Yukimura: **Oh? I've been nominated for 8th place? *Smiles* Thanks readers.

**Inui: **My data says that the reason is because Yukimura also has a younger sister and therefore has experience taking care of younger siblings just like Tachibana.

**Tachibana and Yukimura:** *Smiles glowingly at the same time because they both have younger sisters*

**Shiraishi:** Hey look, I'm in 9th place!

**Entire of Shitenhouji:** Hurray! Buchou got a ranking!

**Shiraishi:** *Twitches*Oi! What's that supposed to mean?

**Entire of Shitenhouji: ***Sweatdrops*Uh…we mean…buchou is awesome for helping our team get a place in the rankings!

**Shiraishi:** *Smiles happily*That's my te-

**Note: There has just been a sudden blackout.**

**Dan:** *In the dark* Heh? What happened to the light, desu? Why was there a sudden blackout, desu!

**Inui:** It is possible that the authoress' computer has overheated from her typing too long on it…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Throws her Biology textbook at Inui* My computer is innocent.

**Momoshiro:** *Is hit by the book* Ouch! What the heck was that for, authoress-san? This book is friggin thick and heavy…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Laughs nervously*I kind of…can't see in the dark right now…

**All:** *Gasps* How-

**Note: The lights have come back on.**

**Kintarou: **Oh noes! The authoress can't see in the dark!

**Kenya: **We must do something to solve this problem…

**Zaizen:** I read from somewhere that inability to see in the dark is due to lack of vitamin A…

**Kintarou:** AHA! *Points to Zaizen* That's it! Shiraishi, we need to give her some vitamin A supplements!

**Zaizen:** *Is happy that he got to say something*

**Shiraishi:** *Nods* Gin, please pass me my tennis bag from over there.

**Gin:** *Hands Shiraishi his tennis bag*

**Shiraishi:** *Thanks Gin before unzipping it and ploughing through its contents*I think I'm gonna need some help here…

**Rest of Shitenhouji:** On it!

**Shiraishi:** *Hands Kenya a big cardboard box* Those are the flu and cough medicines…*continues rummaging*

**Gin:** *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Fever Medicines'*

**Zaizen:** *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Tranquilizers'*

**All:** *Blinks and stares at Zaizen, he shrugs*

**Yuuji:** *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Antibiotics'*

**Koharu:** *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Bandages and Plasters'*

**Kintarou:** *Holds his hand out eagerly*

**Shiraishi:** …no, Kin-chan. These are too heavy for you.

**Kintarou:** Aww…*pouts*

**Shiraishi: ***Looks around* Oh there you are, Chitose! Please do help.

**Chitose:** *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Tampons and Sanitary Pads'* Uh…Shiraishi…

**All:** *Either putting their hands over their eyes in horror, nosebleeding, or laughing*

**Shiraishi:** Yes? *Sees the box* A-Ah…must have given you the wrong one…

**Chitose:** *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Condoms and Lube'* Eh…Shiraishi…

**All:** *Either backing into a corner, nosebleeding even harder, or punching the floor laughing. And yes, Tezuka and Sanada is in one of the categories.*

**Shiraishi:** Yes, Chito- *sees the box* A-Ah…wrong box again…

**Chitose:** *Is handed an identical box labelled 'Steroids'* Ano…Shiraishi…

**All:** *Either whimpering in a corner, using up boxes of tissue for their nosebleeds, or rolling on the floor laughing*

**Shiraishi:** Yes…*looks at the box* That's the correct one, Chitose. *Goes back to rummaging*

**Chitose:** *Sweatdrops as he does a double-take, and is disappointed when the label still says the same thing. He even rubbed his eyes, dammit!* Ok…

**Shiraishi: ***Oblivious to the crowd behind him*That's strange…I can't find the vitamins anywhere…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Has the 0.0 face* How the heck can you lose them when you can even store such *coughcoughahemcoughcoughahem*…items in your bag?

**Shiraishi:** I don't know…*rummages even deeper*…AHA! There it is!

**Midori-Emmi: ***Facepalms*

**All:** *Has the O.O expression as Shiraishi takes out a cupboard as tall as him*

**Shiraishi:** *Once again oblivious to the crowd, searching the vitamin cupboard* Yep, there they are!

**Kintarou:** *Takes the 5 bottles of vitamin A tablets and hands them to the authoress*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Sweatdrops massively* I was going to refuse…but after all this…*takes one of the bottles and pops 2 tablets before returning it to Kintarou with thanks:)*

**Shiraishi:** *STILL oblivious to the crowd behind him as he smiles brightly* Well, now we have settled the problem of the authoress, so its all good *takes the boxes one by one and keeps them*

**Lianna-Snow:** Ano…Shiraishi-kun? I think Midori asked this earlier, but how the heck do you fit those boxes into your bag?

**Shiraishi:** *Blinks* Well, we are in an anime. And anything can happen in an anime:)*Continues packing*

**All:** …

**Akaya:** *Trying to break the tense atmosphere, chuckling nervously* E-Ehe…it would be really funny if he found a huge bowl of chicken salad in that bag…right? Ehe…

**All:** *Nod in agreement* Yes…yeah…it would be…

**Akaya:** Ehe…ehe…it…can't possibly happen…

**All:** Yeah…

**Shiraishi:** Oh wow, I just found something interesting in here!

**Mizuki:** And…what may that be?

**Shiraishi:** A HUGE bowl of chicken salad that is still fresh! *Holding a HUGE bowl of chicken salad*

**All including Midori and Lianna:** *Is stoned*…

**Shiraishi:** *Is puzzled* Eh? Why is everyone stoning?

**Inui:** *Ignoring Shiraishi* Come to think of it…there were actually 2 special days back that we did not remember…

**Kintarou:** Heh? What special day?

**Marui:** I don't remember any special day…

**Lianna-Snow:** Eh? Where did Midori and Sanada-kun go?

**All:** *Points to the despairing corner*

**Midori and Sanada:** *In a deep state of depression*

**Lianna-Snow:** *Aura suddenly grows big* People…have you forgotten a certain 2 days of last week?

**All:***Gulp nervously* Uh…

**Kirihara:** *Punches his palm* Oh yeah! Last Saturday was Sanada-fukubuchou's birthday!

**Renji:** *Slaps Kirihara* That is correct.

**Kirihara:** *Holds his cheek in shock* Why did you slap me if I was correct, senpai?

**Renji:** Because I was doing it on behalf of Genichirou.

**Kirihara:** Oh…

**Sanada:** *Brightens up and his thundercloud turns into sunshine as he skips happily back to his relieved teammates…*

**All except Rikkai:** That was…disturbing…

**Lianna-Snow:** And Midori's birthday was on the 20th! On Friday!

**Midori-Emmi: ***Nods and randomly draws on the ground using a twig*

**All:** Oh…*turns to authoress*…Happy Belated Birthday then.

**Midori-Emmi:** *Brightens up and her thundercloud turns into sunshine as she skips happily back to Lianna, only looking fine skipping because she is a girl*

**All:** *Smiles*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Smiles back*Well…anyways, its getting late and we should really go.

**All: **You mean YOU need to go…

**Midori-Emmi:** Are? Are you guys saying that you want to stay?

**All:** *Clamber out the door except for those still residing in the 'Depression Corner Condominiums' as it has just been recently dubbed. And by recent, I mean 5 seconds*

**Oshitari:** *Shifts his glasses* I believe you left me out of the conversations on purpose…

**Midori-Emmi:** *Smiles brightly* Yep! :D

**Oshitari:** …nevermind*walks out the door*

**Dan:** Authoress-san! Thanks for having me here today!

**Midori-Emmi:** *Inwardly squealing at Dan's cuteness* You're welcome:)

**Dan:** *Nods and runs out the door*

**Midori-Emmi:** *Looks around* Aww…no one is left to give my disclaimer…

**Lianna-Snow:** I'm still here.

**Midori-Emmi:** *Has a bubbly and flowery shojo background* You are my saviour, Lianna!

**Lianna-Snow:** Midori does not own any of the characters in this fic, nor does she own much else except for the humour. She also says that she would also appreciate if readers would read and review her chapters if they were happy cuz she worked her butt off to add more humour.

**Midori-Emmi:** …and also, I simply twisted some characters and random whatnot around simply for the sake of crack…so please don't flame:( Flames will chase my pyrophobic muses away and I won't be able to write! *Gasps* Oh the horror!

**Lianna-Snow:** So you done yet?

**Midori-Emmi:** Yup:) Lets go sleep now.

**Lianna-Snow:** *Yawns* Goodnight.

**Midori-Emmi:** *Yawns as well* Good night, readers:) Have a wonderful night and please give me something constructive, ok?

~OWARI~

**Please Review! Reviews are the air we authors breathe, the food we authors eat, the water we authors drink! Don't let us die just like that!**

**Thank you very much for reading, will update soon.**


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